Metanoia

I'm caught up between two head cracking ideas. It's a choice, to be or not to be. It's seems rather usual but at the same time excruciating for me to undergo this over and over again. i consider it rude for me to make these things work in my head yet i can't find a right plan of action to veer my views regarding this matter. Yes, I'm aiming for a difference but how could that be possible if i don't make a new start. i consider myself rather selfish and obnoxious just thinking of my actions. Sometimes, I consider myself as the one to be blamed for certain events that has made a big deal and i don't even bother to acknowledge it. It's just stupid and it's quite exhausting too. i mean living with the same old cycle and dealing with my emotions and mood swings is definitely not a good habit at all. Hence, there is a need for Metanoia. Something has to be done. A move that won't just stand to be temporary but should be ever lasting and undying. My emotions should always remain secondary and i should really focus on how to set my mind. Changing my views on certain issues is quite a need and there's a call for radical change. I need to push myself. I may have became lax and lackadaisical but i guess it won't work out if i continue to do it that way. I have to be mindful of my decisions always. So it's time for me to walk along with the aim to achieve Metanoia and a better way of revolutionizing my way of thinking.:)..:)..:)